So I read my sis-in-laws most recent blog the other day and it made me cry!! She was talking about how much harder it is to get over the hard part of losing Jude when you see all of his stuff sitting here waiting for him. It just made me so much more angry!!!! Not only am I having to go through all this sadness and pain but all of my family and friends are right along with me. Granted the pain I feel and the pain they feel is totally different but still they feel pain. They all want so badly to make my pain go away and not being able to do that pains them!!!!
It's so unfair for everyone to have to feel so helpless and angry for me! It's so unfair for me to feel hopeless and angry!! It's unfair that the doctors say everything is fine and my two losses just happen to be unfortunate possibilities that can come from any pregnancy!!!!!!
I'm so sick of hearing empty promises!!!!
Will I ever get my baby, will I ever get to be happy again, will I ever experience the joy of motherhood or am I doomed to be barren and be robbed of the one joy I have always longed for?
No one can seem to answer this question for me and God just doesn't seem to want to!!
I ask Him every night to reveal to me what I should do next and if I will ever get a baby and as every day goes by no answer, no sign, no nothing!!!!!! I'm sick of being strong and I just want to know: WILL I EVER GET MY BABY!!??!!?? :~(
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one way or another, you'll be a mommy and you'll understand that Jude was born to be an angel and we'll all share your happiness just like we're all sharing your loss and pain. i'm sure you've realized the road isn't short or easy but it will help you appreciate life that much more. everyone is here to love and support you. <3
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