Not his month, Please, not this month!!

I am freaking out right now!! This month I had to go to Urgent Care because I couldn't keep anything down with either end (if you know what I mean) and they found out that I had a bacteria in my stomach from drinking tap water (which it was actually "filtered" water!) well anyway they prescribed me some antibiotics to get rid of it. I was about 3 days in to my regimen when my hubby and I, totally forgetting that I was on antibiotics, "tried for a baby." Afterwards I thought I need to go take my next pill before bed and it was then I realized that I might have doomed myself if I had gotten pregnant just then!!!! >:oO I told my husband and he seemed to just kinda pass it off, but since then I have been taking my temperature like crazy and looking for all of the signs of pregnancy out of sheer fear!! As soon as I get my next unemployment check I am going to stock up on some 99cent store pregnancy tests and I am terrified to take the first one this month!! I feel like such and idiot!! Why didn't I remember!? Why was I so stupid!? I kinda started to feel nauseous and a tiny bit of cramping earlier this evening and thats when I started to freak out!! What if I'm pregnant and my baby come out with birth defects because I was such a moron!!?? I wouldn't be able to live with myself even if the doctors told me that the antibiotics had nothing to do with it I would still feel like it's my fault!! I do want to be pregnant again and I do want another baby so, so bad, I just don't want it to be the month where I was stupid and careless!! Because I'm already going to be nervous with this being my 2nd subsequent pregnancy (and losing the 2nd one) it would only be 100 times worse if it happened this month! Not only would I worry about the things that went wrong with the first 2 but, now I would worry that the antibiotics caused a problem!!!! :~( I just want to take a pregnancy test and be relieved already!!!!

Oh Lord help me to accept whatever the outcome is this month! Help me to have faith in you and believe that whatever happens was always in your plan for my life! Help me to accept whatever the results may be!

You don't even know!

I get so frustrated when I see people complain about their children or not having any time to themselves!! God has given them the most wonderful gift, the miracle of a baby, someone's life is partially in there hands, yet all they can think about is themselves!! Never mind that God entrusted them with the raising of one (or more) of his children! All they care about is the "freedom" they used to have!! Well first off you should have thought of that before you got pregnant and second off would you be like that if you were Jesus' mother!?!? No I don't think so!!!! Every one of these children is Gods child, when you think of it like that how wrong does it make you feel when you complain!? When God blesses you with Money or a great job do you complain about it? NO! So why when God gives you the most precious gift of all to you complain about all the "time to yourself your missing!" I mean really, that is so selfish!!!!

So the next time your feeling tired and well to be honest, selfish, think about the fact that God entrusted this precious miracle of his child to you!! When you think of it that way you better be ashamed and you better push on to glorify God!! Babies/children shouldn't be looked at as a chore but as a beautiful blessing straight from God that we should be happy to wake up to and take care of every waking moment of our lives!!!!!!

Cherish your children and treat them like the gifts they are!!!!